Neil Parekh's Evolution as a Mental Health Advocate

Our First Meeting

I first met Neil at a United Way conference approximately eight years ago. I am not even sure of the exact topic that I was presenting on, but I know it had something to do with data and my personal story of abuse. Neil was in my session, and afterwards, in true Neil fashion, he came up to me and introduced himself. He worked at United Way Worldwide, and I was completely in awe that he approached me. I felt like I was talking to a celebrity. You see, Neil was incredibly popular, very charismatic, a total social butterfly if you will. Everyone loved him, and so many people had told me I needed to meet him.

The one thing no one knew about Neil was that he had some things that had happened to him in his life that he had shared with very few people, certainly nobody from work. It was definitely not something he would share with someone he had just met at a conference.

Neil was fascinated by my own story, and he told me so. I think we instantly liked each other, and we hung out over the next few days, going to dinner and some of the fun activities together, just like you do at a conference when you meet someone cool like Neil. I am not sure of the exact timing, but I know it was at another United Way conference where I ran into Neil again. He and I went to dinner and I heard Neil’s story. I remember listening to him and feeling so honored that he picked me to disclose it to.

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I am hosting and Neil Parekh will be the guest on Ep. 28 of “Shining Light on Shadows: A Candid Conversation About Mental Health,” Thursday, April 24 at 6pm CT / 7pm ET.

We will be focusing on Neil's evolution as a mental health advocate AND his recent diagnosis of Adult ADHD. You can watch the live show or recording on Facebook, Twitter*, LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram* or Neil's website.

*We won't know the exact urls for Twitter or Instagram until we go live on Thursday. For now, these links go to Neil's Twitter and my Instagram.

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He wanted to get involved with Denim Day and he wanted me to help try and do something at United Way Worldwide. Neil definitely didn’t need any help. He was able to get permission to do Denim Day at United Way’s headquarters in Virginia. One of the best pictures I have ever seen is of all these people in their jeans on Denim Day. It blew me away and I was so proud of him for organizing that event. I always let people share their own story, so I never said anything to anyone about why Neil was so passionate about Denim Day and why he was doing this. I am not even sure he told anyone at that time.

I also remember the day that Neil told me that he suffered from anxiety and depression. I was so open about my own mental health issues that I was surprised he was so guarded. He had so many concerns about people finding out. He was afraid that he would be seen in a different light, that it might affect his job or make people see him in a different way. When we became Facebook friends, he was always fascinated by how I put myself out there and never had any fear of the repercussions. (I always had fear, I just didn’t care.)

Shining Light on Shadows

When Neil came up with the idea to do a show about mental health, he took a risk, and he knew it. But somehow, he faced his fears head-on. He knew that he wanted to reduce the stigma of mental health, and he knew that he had a platform he could use to do it. When Neil approached me to be a guest, I could tell that he was very nervous about starting this show. Not because of the show itself; Neil is an expert speaker and producer, but he was nervous about the topic. I offered to co-host the show with him, and it didn’t take him but a minute to agree. I felt so honored that he trusted me to help walk this journey with him.

For a lot of the shows we did in the beginning, Neil would say to me, I am not sure I want to talk about myself in this way, or I am not sure I am ready to share about my experience. Sometimes he shared and sometimes he didn’t, but as the shows went on, I watched his awesome transformation. Neil began to get more comfortable with himself. He began to embrace talking about his experience. The more people shared and bared their souls, the more of himself Neil shared with all of us. Even the conversations we had behind the scenes got easier for him. I watched this person that was concerned about what other people might think of him turn into an advocate for himself and others right before my eyes.

Neil's Diagnosis of Adult ADHD

When Neil was diagnosed with Adult ADHD I wasn’t surprised. I think he was surprised that I wasn’t surprised. When he told me, he was really nervous. He wasn’t sure how to process the information, and I knew he needed time. The great thing about Neil is that he is very self-aware. I knew he was going to do all the things that the doctors suggested and try all the combinations of therapy and medication that they were going to suggest. I was so proud of Neil. When I suggested that we do a show about his mental health journey, and that I interview him, he said yes. As he thought about this episode he said that he thought he was also ready to talk about his ADHD. On Ep. 27, as he was promoting this episode, he shared his diagnosis of Adult ADHD. I know this was a really big deal for him. I could tell that he didn’t know if he’d actually say the words or whether he would just describe the upcoming episode in vague terms.

Watching the way in which Neil has embraced his mental health over the past year and a half has made me so proud to call him my friend. I’m looking forward to interviewing him on our next episode, to help him share more of his mental health journey and to help him talk publicly about his ADHD. To know Neil is to love Neil, mental health struggles and all.