I remember the first time I used Facebook as a platform to discuss my mental health. I didn’t even think about there being any ramifications to it. I thought, this is my Facebook page and if someone didn’t like it they could scroll past it. It was probably 15 years ago, and I don’t even remember what I wrote. I would imagine it was about my trauma and what I was feeling on that particular day. Within hours I was getting Facebook instant messages from some people that I went to grade school with. They said things like “You shouldn’t be posting that stuff in a public place” or “Why would you share something so personal?” I was shocked actually. I felt like it was my right to post whatever I wanted on my page.
I post A LOT on social media and sometimes I go down a rabbit hole when I am sad or depressed. I have been accused of fishing for attention, or over-exaggerating how I’m doing. People have gone so far as to tell me I always seem so put together, and “suddenly” I can’t get out of bed. But the reality is that we probably all do a pretty good job of wearing that mask that says we are ok when deep down we really aren’t. It’s the mask that shows the outside world that there is nothing to worry about. It is a wall that most of us with mental health issues use to protect our jobs, our families, our friends, and our lives. By posting my feelings on social media I break that protective wall. Now, at 52, it’s intentional.
I will discuss these and related issues on a new show that I launched with Neil Parekh, “Shining Light on Shadows: A Candid Conversation About Mental Health” Thursday, September 26 at 6pm CT / 7pm ET. Claire Filipek will be our guest on Episode 16.
You can watch the live show or the recording on Facebook, Twitter*, LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram or Neil's website.
*We won't know the exact urls for Twitter and Instagram until we go live. These links go to Neil's Twitter and my Instagram.
I like when people are real on Facebook. I like when someone doesn’t just show all the good things, the trips, the new cars, the happy times. Don’t get me wrong I like to see people happy, but I think we get a false sense of someone’s life because all we see through social media is the good. When someone is raw and open and honest about having a bad day, week, month, year, that’s when I take notice. I can empathize with that. Most of the time, if I know the person really well I will send a virtual hug, but other times, unless they ask I let them have their moment.
Over the years I have posted my fair share of things that I wished I would have never talked about, things that made me very vulnerable, or times when I posted before thinking about what I was saying. Those are not my finer moments. I am much more deliberate about what I post these days. I won’t ever stop talking about my journey on social media, it’s my platform and a place for me to have a history of where I was at in my life at any given moment. Every once in a while someone will reach out to me and write, “Hey, I am feeling the same way today. Thanks, I feel seen.” That makes it all worth it to me.
Brene Brown has this great video on empathy, that I think everyone should stop and take three minutes to watch. The video reminds us that sometimes we don’t have to say anything to someone who is hurting. We just need to listen.
Comments