By 10 p.m.ET on Tuesday night, I had lost hope. I had just finished producing a fifth livestream show as part of Sree’s Special Election Coverage. I had been keeping an eye on The New York Times Needle. When I first checked the Needle, it was already leaning a little bit toward Trump. As we moved into our 11 p.m. show, the Needle moved further and further to the right. Thankfully I was behind-the-scenes for these shows and kept asking myself, “What the hell is happening?”
At 12:30 a.m. ET, I came out of my office and sat with my wife watching the news for about 45 minutes. I don’t know why. It was all over but the shouting at that point.
This year’s Election Night was different from 2016. Eight years ago, everyone assumed Hillary Clinton would win. The Needle started off almost three-quarters of the way pointing to a Clinton victory. As that night progressed, it slowly moved to the right.
We are creating space for people to share their reactions to the election results on the next episode of “Shining Light on Shadows: A Candid Conversation About Mental Health” Thursday, November 14 at 6pm CT / 7pm ET. Dawn Helmrich Neuburg is my co-host. Shawna Vercher will be our guest. You can watch the live show or recording on Facebook, Twitter*, LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram* or my website.
*We won't know the exact urls for Twitter and Instagram until we go live. For now, those links go to my main accounts on those platforms.
Last week, we knew it would be close. There was some reporting that the swing states may swing in one direction, that it was possible that either Donald Trump or Kamala Devi Harris would run away with it. Most of us expected a long, drawn-out legal battle, allegations of fraud and potential shenanigans with electors and maybe even a repeat of January 6. We were wrong.
The enthusiasm and energy surrounding Kamala Devi Harris’ ascension as the Democratic nominee was very real. I got caught up in the excitement, producing shows such as South Asian Men for Harris, Asian American and Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Men for Kamala and South Asians Stand-Up for Kamala. Producing livestream and hybrid events for Digimentors is a core part of my job.
Several of the guests on Sree’s Sunday #NYTReadalong – which I have been producing for more than seven years, even before I joined Digimentors – in the weeks leading up to Nov. 5, focused on the Presidential Election. These guests included Subodh Chandra, a civil-rights attorney in Cleveland who filed charges on behalf of the Haitian Bridge Alliance over the dogs/cats remarks; Shawna Vercher, a political and media consultant known as The Political Fixer, Rashmee Roshan Lall, a journalist based in London and Dr. Jason Johnson, an MSNBC political contributor.
I wasn’t working on a campaign and I wasn’t working as a journalist, but I was certainly immersed in election coverage.
The prospect of a South Asian/Black Woman President was incredible. She was someone I could identify with. Someone my daughter could identify with.
By Wednesday morning, after producing a “Morning After” show, I was numb. Shawna Vercher, who was on that Morning’s show, was very open about what these results meant to her and her team. This was a time to mourn and grieve. But it was also a time to protect loved ones, make sure people felt safe and to practice self-care.
Her words stuck with me, but I was still at a loss. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. I just couldn’t understand how so many voters could support Donald Trump. There are neighbors on my street who proudly support him. Some had supported him four years ago. Some put out flags for the first time. I was in shock.
Thankfully two of my meetings were canceled. The one meeting that stayed on my schedule was a well-timed weekly appointment with my therapist.
I spent quite a bit of time scanning social media, looking to see how others were reacting. There was anger, disbelief, tears. But a few people were reminding us that we will have work to do. I tried to focus on that, but my heart wasn’t there yet. I was emotionally spent and physically exhausted.
We decided to dedicate this episode to creating a space for people to share how they were responding to the election. It was something concrete I could do. I’m hoping it might help provide an outlet in the short-run. If you were shocked, saddened, angered and/or just devastated by the election results, please know that you’re not alone. Hopefully, knowing that is the first step toward figuring out where we go from here. We hope you’ll join us.
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